Martian Invasion of Races
Dearborn, MI
Ford Field Park, 500 Monroe St, Dearborn, 48124, MI, USASat 15th April 2023
4 races
Organiser's Description
Hail Earthlings:
Why the Martians? Click here for the illustrated story. Earth marathons have strange themes, with your flying pigs and your convoluted, NASA-calculated encounter projections. Our finest Martian philosophers and theologians are working tirelessly to compose our own (as you call it) “trash talk”, which we will shower upon you most mercilessly once our planet’s runners prove victorious in winning all the races and snagging all the prizes.
We also noticed the course map is now on your website. Using the MSA’s (Martian Space Administration) spatial-relationship viewer, we see your course is free of dust and rock, perhaps a solid surface. It could be quite fast … interesting. Time will tell who ends up kicking whose …
The marathon course is a Boston Qualifier. All the Martian courses are wide, traffic free, beautiful and lightly rolling. The 10K, Half Marathon and Marathon all leave and return to the Start/Finish via the same route.
Aid stations approximately every 2 miles with Absopure water and Gatorade. Two GU stops in the Half Marathon and 4 GU stops in the Full marathon. Bathrooms every 5 miles, maybe even some real ones with flush toilets! Note: There is a 6 1/2 hour time limit for the Marathon.
The only issue is gravity, which we are in process of correcting. Scientists from both Mars and Earth are working together on a diversionary, planetary, orbital plan that should reduce gravitational pull for up to 4 hours on race day. This displaced gravity will be transported by traditional warp methods to be distributed evenly over all other spring marathon dates.
Why the Martians? Click here for the illustrated story. Earth marathons have strange themes, with your flying pigs and your convoluted, NASA-calculated encounter projections. Our finest Martian philosophers and theologians are working tirelessly to compose our own (as you call it) “trash talk”, which we will shower upon you most mercilessly once our planet’s runners prove victorious in winning all the races and snagging all the prizes.
We also noticed the course map is now on your website. Using the MSA’s (Martian Space Administration) spatial-relationship viewer, we see your course is free of dust and rock, perhaps a solid surface. It could be quite fast … interesting. Time will tell who ends up kicking whose …
The marathon course is a Boston Qualifier. All the Martian courses are wide, traffic free, beautiful and lightly rolling. The 10K, Half Marathon and Marathon all leave and return to the Start/Finish via the same route.
Aid stations approximately every 2 miles with Absopure water and Gatorade. Two GU stops in the Half Marathon and 4 GU stops in the Full marathon. Bathrooms every 5 miles, maybe even some real ones with flush toilets! Note: There is a 6 1/2 hour time limit for the Marathon.
The only issue is gravity, which we are in process of correcting. Scientists from both Mars and Earth are working together on a diversionary, planetary, orbital plan that should reduce gravitational pull for up to 4 hours on race day. This displaced gravity will be transported by traditional warp methods to be distributed evenly over all other spring marathon dates.
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